Answers to your questions:
1) Use a free load balancer. I believe Citrix Netscaler even has a free VM appliance now (with limitations - but maybe it will work for you)
2) Yes, you can use a host header and host on the same IP address.
For #1, if you really wanted to - you could use DNS round robin - poor man's load balancing. Simple but easy. You won't gauranttee equal load though. I would set your TTL (time to live) to 5 minutes, any lower not all DNS ISP caching will respect it for traffic reasons. This way if a server goes bad, you can remove the IP from DNS and it SHOULD stop going to that server after 5 minutes. Reducing the length of your outage.
I hate NLB etc - if a true LB (F5 or Netscaler) isn't affordable - try the free ones first as suggested, or try DNS if you need to be up and running today ASAP, while you work on putting in the free load balancer. Maybe there's a VM appliance out there.