I'm a developer by trade, and there have been times when I've felt similarly. In my case, I've found out that there are usually wrong assumptions on both sides of the discussion.
To illustrate, here are some things that SysAdmins at my work consider when handling a "simple" request like spinning up a new virtual server.
Licensing for the operating system - is this a reallocated license from somewhere else, covered by an MSDN subscription, or a new license to be tracked?
Security and reliability patches need to be pushed out, and the machine needs to be added into the inventory of servers to be monitored and maintained.
Where is the hard drive for the virtual machine going to live? Is there any information on that drive that needs to be backed up? If so, can we move that information out of the drive onto the SAN for replication?
Is this going to be a development box, for a testing environment, or for production?
For a development box, what software is going to be installed? Does the machine need to have internet connectivity? If so, what about Anti-Virus and other malware? Who's tracking the software licensing of the development tools?
For a testing box, are the licenses covered by MSDN (in our context, it is for system testing by developers) or do we need more licenses for all the software installed because it's not used by developers (in our context, business testing).
For a production box, what is the SLA for the machine? Does it need to be replicated to offsite? Do we have room on the backup tapes for this machines hard drive? Does the DR site need to be a hot-swap, or can some down time be tollerated? If down time is Ok, how much? 30 minutes versus a week - different solutions required.
Who needs to have access to the machine? Will they be using the VMWare/HyperV console access or Remote Desktop (RDP)?
How long will the machine be needed? Who is responsible for the machine? In a years time when no-one remembers what the machine was for, can we just turn it off?
Keep in mind, I'm not a systems adminstrator - I'm a developer. These are just the issues I'm aware of - the issues I've learnt about. I'd be very suprised if the list was comprehensive or complete.
How did I learn? I worked hard on developing a good relationship with the SysAdmins, and by going out of my way to help them help me.
In every case I've experienced any attitude I received from a SysAdmin resulted from a lack of clear communication. Being clear what I wanted, and why (keeping to information relevant to the SysAdmin), being willing to listen, and being willing to learn about their concerns and working within their constraints were all important.