We've got a user here who works with the military, training them primarily how to use ecological engineering "databases". We lovingly refer to her as The Evil Olive Oil, because she greatly resembles the cartoon character. Her antics so far have been;
(No embellishment, or kidding on any of these. This is actually how she is.)
Calling my boss at 4:45am, (curiously, she called his office line and not his cell or the on-call admin cell) and leaving a 3-minute message that begins in a normal tone but rapidly reaches a fever pitch, where she begins literally screaming into the phone the word, `Unacceptable! Unacceptable! Unacceptable!' over and over. No kidding, repeated about twenty times or so. At the end, her voice is hoarse and she's sobbing, overcome with emotion. The problem; a malfunctioning printer. The irony; there was a perfectly functioning one she was aware of, less than 15 feet away.
Engaging in enormous email arguments with tech staff where she refuses to follow specific instructions, claiming she "doesn't have time for this" and "she doesn't see the point in this" and how "she's smart enough" and believes that our instructions won't fix her problem, shortly followed up with an almost vicious, `you've exceeded my personal time expectations for a solution, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF??!!!' email.
Claims she needs, (again, no kidding) 4 versions of MS Office installed on her computer because she doesn't believe that any docs, excel files, etc. of them are backwards-compatible with each other. FULL VERSIONS. Each and every one of us has proved forwards and backwards that she does not need this, but she refuses to believe anyone.
Here's my favorite part of this though..
After a week's worth of completely crazy email trails between her, myself, the rest of the staff, her boss, her boss's boss, mine, etc. All attempting to resolve an issue that she was convinced was a network problem and couldn't be dissuaded from, I found myself leaving work the exact same time that she was, (exiting the parking garage.)
She turns right and I follow, which is my normal route home. I haven't noticed that I'm inadvertently following her at this point, `cause I'm mainly keeping an eye on traffic.
As we continue down the parkway, her vehicle starts to act erratically. Speeding up, slowing down, attempting to force it's way into another lane in a bullying sort of manner and that's what made me sit up and take note.. I realized that it was HER!
Looking into the vehicle, I notice that she's rapidly moving her head back and forth, glancing into the rear-view mirror and back out the windscreen. It's obvious that she's looking at what's behind her, (me in my vehicle) and freaking out.
In addition to it being a fairly well-used parkway and a heavy traffic time of day, she's unable to maneuver her way out of my lane and she remained in front of me. Weakly I wave to her, to try and assuage any fears or assumptions that she might have, wondering if she's just believing the worst and that her life is beginning to resemble a horror movie, (the killer was BEHIND HER the ENTIRE time! :) or something. She does not return the wave.
As we approach an Albertson's grocery store, she SUDDENLY and UNEXPECTEDLY whips the steering wheel around to the right, cutting into the parking lot, narrowly missing two pedestrians and wildly careening down a sharp dip into the lot.
As I drive past, I watch as she madly continues her run into the parking lot and slams on her brakes, again narrowly avoiding t-boning another car that's pulling out. Horns abound, voices are raised in the parking lot and I continue on my merry way.
The next day I relay this story to my co-workers who laugh and we all share a humorous, (if not slightly scary) thought that hopefully she doesn't think that I'm stalking her.
Two days later, while the helpdesk is up working on her computer and she's out on a business trip to a military base, one of the guys calls me, from her extension and in what I can only describe as a VERY, VERY good impersonation of her voice starts to accuse me, LOUDLY of stalking and saying that she's going to call the police, etc. The color drains from my face and I'm stammering apologies on the phone for almost a full minute before I hear the rest of my team trying to stifle their laughter.