I am having problems setting up OTA sync of exchange calendars with a users iPhone at work.
I set up her exchange account on the iPhone. Have it set to push. Contacts and Email loads up pretty much instantly. No calendar events.
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Not too sure if this is the answer to your problem, but when I first setup the new Exchange sync on my iPhone... everything started loading instantly, except for Calendar.
It turns out that Calendar will start coming in about 5 to 10 minutes later. No idea why, but sometimes being patient can bring you results.