I'm going to answer my own question here, but I thought this might be important enough to post so that it would be indexed for the next person who runs into my situation.
Problem: I can not seem to get PHP code to execute on a x64 bit version ofIIS7, whether it be in my desktop, Windows 7, or the application's final destination on Windows Server 2008. Every time I try and look at a test php document to confirm installation, I only see the source code.
I've followed the documentation from PHP, from iis.net, blogs, howtos, just about anywhere I can find that Google would send me. I tried the web installer, tried manual installations instead of the MSI, tried version 5.3.5, tried version 5.2.17, but no matter what, the code would never execute. I even tried registering .eric files with PHP FastCGI Module, but same result, php source code only.