I am trying to run VNC at 5900, but allegedly some process is holding it, thus vnc complains: NOT accepting connections.
how to fix that
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TCPView from sysinternals - http://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/sysinternals/bb897437.aspx
The entire sysinternals suite is highly recommended.
download and run cports which is available here. this will tell you what process is listening on what ports.
sure there are other tools but http://www.netlimiter.com/ is one tool i have used in the past