Your examples above are catching how many running processes of php and httpd which won't really show you connections. If you just want a rough idea of the connections you could try
netstat -an | grep :80 | wc -l which will show you the total number of connections (in both active and wait status) for port 80.
To really get metrics on page requests, server load and user tracking you'd wnat to look at something like MRTG or Cacti.
The command above shows all connections to whatever port your checking, but doesn't differentiate between active connections or the other different status like TIME_WAIT and CLOSE_WAIT, nor does it break it down by virtual host, it's simply all connections on this server to X port.
If you run the command without the wc -l pipe you'll see different status including ESTABLISHED, TIME_WAIT and CLOSE_WAIT.
CLOSE_WAIT indicates that the other side has closed the connection.
TIME_WAIT indicates that the local side has closed the connection.
These connections are kept around for a few minutes to ensure that any delayed packets are matched and delivered properly.
When a client request comes in your webserver (apache, nginx, iis, lighthttp etc) handles the client request and loads the file. If it finds that it contains php code it hands it off to the php interpreter which then either connects to a database like postgres or mysql or hands it back to your webserver which delivers it to the client.
You'll find that your webserver and php are typically capable of handling hundreds of client requests so while you may have 100+ client connections you may only have 1-10 httpd processes as each worker process is handling multiple client requests.
The fact that you said
netstat -an | grep :80 | wc -l returned 3500 results warrants investigation. Out of curiosity I checked our heaviest load production server currently pushing 1.1Mbit of traffic and found it only had 141 connections between the different ports we server content on, however if your site is high traffic and not session based it's entirely possible that's legitimate.
If you're really curious as to what's happening then only monitoring can tell you. Cacti will give you a good idea of bandwidth and server load, while something like Apache mod_status, MRTG or Awstats will give you a better idea of traffic to each virtual host with breakdowns on unique visitors and metrics on page traffic.
If you just want some cursory data you can pipe a status into the above, i.e.
netstat -an | grep :80 | grep ESTABLISHED | wc -l will show you a count of ESTABLISHED connections to port 80, ignoring CLOSE_WAIT and TIME_WAIT. Even that only gives you a rough idea of how many people are connecting to your server, to understand how people are using your website(s) you need to go the external application route.
Hope this helps.