The root problem is that you have accepted a message for relay, and the recipient server has a problem accepting it. Normally, the reciptient server would say "550 message size too large" or something like that, and exim would not try again, but turn around and try to inform the sender that there was a problem with his 86-MB message by sending him a bounce message.
Here, that is not happening, there is an ill-defined problem handling the message, probably because it is so big. Usually the receiving server will use the ESMTP protocol which permits refusing messages above a certain size before they actually go over the wire, but AOL's servers do not seem to support that, so they try to accept it and fail badly for some reason that AOL server administrators may or may not understand.
Because Exim does not know what to do with this ill-defined problem, it will keep on trying to send the message for five days (default configuration). You have two options for stopping the nuisance before that: use exim -Mg $messageid
which will send back a bounce to the sender, or exim -Mrm $messageid
which will simply delete the message from your queue. I prefer the first one, except that the error message seems to read "cancelled by administrator", while I would prefer the "closed connection in response to sending data block" plus maybe "default timeout shortened by administrator".
To avoid it happening again, you should probably define a size limit on your server so that you don't accept messages that are so big that the recipient is likely to refuse. The parameter is called message_size_limit and may already be present in your configuration. Using exim's very complete configuration possibilities, you could probably define a limit only for mails to AOL, if you wish to. In the general case, 10 or 20 MB is usual.
exim -bp
(it will show the message-id) to find the message from queue and remove it withexim -Mrm <message-id>
.