Long story short: My standalone Exchange 2007 server existed in a Hyper-V instance that somehow clashed with the physical server's RAID hardware and caused a BSOD on the host shortly after the instance had booted up.
I "fixed" the problem by moving the HDDs from the Adaptec HostRAID to be connected directly to the "normal" SATA controller (it was RAID-1, and I wasn't expecting it to be this easy) and then creating a new Hyper-V instance and re-installing WS2008 and then Exchange 2007 with the setup /m:RecoverServer
option.
After that finished, I mounted the old instance's VHD and copied the 8GB of ESE Transaction Logs and EDB database files over to the new instance, and told the now running Exchange server that the Mailbox Database files could be replaced by a restore, I then overwrote the "new" database with the old one, then told Exchange to mount it.
...no complaints were displayed in the MMC console and I could access my mail from within OWA (as the server is also a client access server).
This all seems suspiciously simple. Is there anything I might have forgotten or overlooked? My solution was a hack as I hadn't yet implemented any form of backup (yeah, there's about 6000 transaction log files in the database directory) and this was working fine using the simpliest of recovery techniques, yet I understand it's quite painful to recover from an Exchange backup?